Love in the spotlight
Ida's journey in 'Bachelor 21' extends far beyond the glamour of the TV screen. In this episode, she candidly shares her relationship with Sebastian - what was it really like to meet during the recordings, and what happened when they returned home? Was it always obvious that they were the ones for each other? And how did she find out she was going to be a mother? All these questions and more are answered in the episode.
Ida on pregnancy
In the episode, Ida also talks about her pregnancy, from experiencing a miscarriage, which she chose to publicly share, to becoming pregnant again with a little boy. She provides an honest look into the roller coaster of pregnancy, from the physical and emotional challenges to the immense joy and anticipation.
From Grief to Strength and Understanding
Ida also shares her deeply personal journey, and the episode discusses high sensitivity (HSP). By confronting the loss of her mother and experiencing a miscarriage, she shares her learnings and thoughts about life's ups and downs. Furthermore, as a highly sensitive person, Ida provides an insightful look at how this trait influences everything from daily interactions to deep relationships, emphasizing the importance of accepting and understanding this part of herself.
Words from Lovisa
This week, the podcast is joined by the wonderful Ida Nordfors, who participated and won the final rose in Bachelor 2021. Today, Ida works as an influencer where she shares her life as an HSP - a highly sensitive person, her pregnancy, and much more on social media. Today's episode is a deep dive where we go through what it was really like to participate in Bachelor, what HSP is and what it's like to live as a highly sensitive person. We also talk about mental health and the grief that arose when Ida's mother suddenly passed away. It's a very rewarding episode that offers both laughter and tears. I'm so grateful that you're listening!
Join in on Ida's inspiring journey! Click here to listen to the podcast episode.
Best,
Team Under Your Skin
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Read below for an automatic transcription of the entire podcast episode:
Lovisa: You're 35 weeks pregnant. That's considered highly pregnant.
Ida: Yes, I guess so. I was a bit uncertain when it started, but I definitely feel very pregnant now. But today is a good pregnancy day. I feel relatively energetic and not too much pain in my body, which I sometimes do.
Ida: I've had a lot of pelvic girdle pain, it hurts so much. It was terrible in the beginning. I thought it was a back problem when we had to move. I was like, 'Oh, I've got a backache,' and people didn't believe it was me. I've heard of others with the same issue and didn't think you could get it so early, but you can. I realized I got it early and then it passed, then came back exactly as before. It's such a strain to carry and give birth to a child, it's like running a marathon.
Lovisa: Yes, yes. I hope it comes soon. But can you start by telling us a bit about yourself? You were in Bachelor 21, for those who might not follow your journey or you on social media. Who is Ida?
Ida: Well, I am 27 years old and come from Gothenburg but have been living in Stockholm for a little over three years now. I moved here for my marketing studies and my second internship in Stockholm, and at the end of it, I joined Bachelor. My life turned upside down a bit, and I had already planned to move permanently to Stockholm. But then, meeting my guy in the program, Sebastian, made it even more obvious that we would live together. And here we are over two and a half years later, still together and expecting a child.
Lovisa: So beautiful! How was it, you must have answered these questions a hundred times, but it's still fun to know. Was it obvious to apply for Bachelor?
Ida: No, I didn't apply. Instead, I saw Sebastian on 'Nyhetsmorgon' when he was presented with Simon and the other Bachelor guy, and I was open to finding love. When I saw him, I felt something right away, like, okay, I need to meet this guy. So I messaged him on Instagram. They have rules that they can't respond to people like me who wrote, 'I want to meet you.' But I saw that he read it. I think he liked my message, and when he started following me, I realized he had seen it and couldn't respond. Then a few days later, the production team contacted me, so he had suggested me. At first, I said no because I was writing my thesis and didn't want to be on TV. I just wanted to meet him. But they didn't give up, invited me to a casting, and I thought, why not try it? So I did, and they convinced me there. It was a strange experience.
Lovisa: Yes, and they had a camera, and you sat in front of a jury. Very strange.
Ida: Yes, lots of questions about who you are, your thoughts on the guys, how you think you'd act in different situations, and what you're looking for. It was very special. But it was fun, and I had a good gut feeling, so I followed that.
Lovisa: And then you were in Bachelor. How was the whole experience of competing, so to say? And it's not exactly competing, but dating the same guy as 20-something other girls?
Ida: It's very special. You can't really prepare for it. It's a crazy experience, but I'm so glad I did it. I never saw it as a competition. I was focused on my journey and getting to know him. If we clicked, maybe something would happen. If he wasn't interested, I would let it go.
Lovisa: Such a nice attitude, no pressure.
Ida: Yes, and it's not just him judging me. I was there to judge him too. I was open to both guys at the start.
Ida: But with that attitude, it feels fine. I can imagine being in that environment with many girls and these two guys put on a pedestal. I imagine you might not think about whether he's right for you, which might be why many pairs don't last.
Lovisa: What do you think was the key for you two? That it lasted even after the cameras were off?
Ida: I think, firstly, that we were both there for the right reasons. We were both really open to love. Most people there are open to love, but maybe it's not the main focus. Maybe it's more about being on TV or the adventure. But we both longed for love, and that was the foundation. But also, that when we dated on the show, it felt like equal terms. He wanted to get to know me, and I wanted to get to know him. And then afterward, just a lot of communication and honesty with each other.
Lovisa: So beautiful. And it feels like you've been very open and honest on social media too, very genuine.
Ida: Yes, we've had our ups and downs and communication issues. I've been open about us going to couple's therapy, which has helped us a lot, being open about that to everyone. It's thinking about the whole of Sweden being an extremely popular TV show.
Lovisa: Do you see it that way? How has it laid the foundation for being open on social media, sharing your feelings, both good and bad?
Ida: Yes, I think so. When I was there, and it was filmed, I was quite nervous. How would I be portrayed? I didn't know how they would edit it, but I had never seen myself or the situations.
Ida: It's scary. How will I appear? Almost an identity crisis. But then, when it aired, I got a lot of appreciation for being open, and that encouraged me to continue being so. I think that's what I got the most compliments for, setting the foundation for that.
Lovisa: So nice.
Lovisa: And then after Bachelor, your career took off, and it looked different. You also got pregnant and first had a miscarriage, which you shared. How was it to go through that?
Ida: Very tough, of course. It's not something you expect. You know it can happen, but for most, it goes well. But when I shared my miscarriage, I realized how common it actually is.
Ida: The hardest part for me was feeling like I continued being pregnant, and my body didn't start bleeding naturally. I found out on an ultrasound that the fetus had stopped developing, but my body hadn't understood it yet. It was a weird thing in my head. I didn't know it existed, that it could happen. I felt so deceived, like I had been talking to my little baby in my belly, and it wasn't even alive. But it taught me a lot, and when I opened up about it, I got so much response from people who went through the same. I realized how common it was, and over time, I could turn that sorrow into something natural. My body did the right thing.
Lovisa: Yes, exactly. I think that changed your attitude, even though it would be terrible to go through again.
Ida: Yes, but it's nice to share. It seems very common, and if one person opens up, ten others have gone through something similar. But the first step to share something feels huge.
Lovisa: So, what would you say to someone going through the same thing right now?
Ida: First, it's easy to think there's something wrong with me, my body. Why can't I carry a child? But it's not about that. One in four pregnancies ends in a miscarriage. It's not that the body is doing something wrong; it's doing something right. If there's something wrong, the body needs to get rid of it. It's nature. Sometimes the body needs help with a miscarriage, or it fixes it. What is it, really?
Lovisa: It's nature's laws.
Ida: Yes, and another thing I thought a lot about during that time was people saying not to announce your pregnancy before week twelve because of the risk of miscarriage. I found it strange, like saying if you have a miscarriage, it should be a secret, something to be ashamed of.
Lovisa: True.
Ida: I found it odd. If you're pregnant early and want to tell, do it. Don't let the possibility of something happening stop you. Anything can always happen, and it doesn't take away the fact that you were pregnant or the experience now. You can be happy about week five. It's just as real then.
Lovisa: Yes, it's true.
Ida: And often, when you want to tell about your pregnancy, especially early on, if something happens, you might wish you had told so you could get comfort. Sharing your worries in those weeks, worrying something might happen and getting support seems more important than trying to keep something secret. It's really like that.
Lovisa: Did you do anything differently when you got pregnant again? Did you tell more people earlier, or what?
Ida: For both, I told early, my closest ones. I didn't go public until week twelve or something like that, but I told close people both times. Of course, something can happen, but I want to be happy now, and if something happens, you already know.
Lovisa: What are your thoughts on childbirth? Maybe you don't have many visions, but do you have any goals or ideas?
Ida: I try not to picture it too much, so I won't be disappointed. You know it won't go as planned, and I want to be open to that. But I feel like it will go well, however it turns out, and I look forward to the experience. No matter what, I will meet my child at the end. It will be an incredible experience, no matter what.
Ida: Yes, and I'm just excited to see how my body does this. It's like seeing nature's power take over.
Lovisa: Many times, I got such good advice.
Ida: It's really like that. If you panic because of the pain, it's just your brain. The body knows what to do. It keeps going if you trust it. Just think the pain is good and come to acceptance.
Lovisa: Then it's just your own brain, the thoughts, not to believe all the thoughts that come. Very important.
Ida: Yes, I see it a bit like it's going to be a big mental challenge that I look forward to taking on. But it will certainly be tough in many ways, and things can happen. But right now, I look forward to it.
Lovisa: God, how fun! So nice. But I think we should talk a bit about how you talk a lot about HSP. What does being highly sensitive mean, and you are one?
Lovisa: And I think it's much more common than people think. Many don't know what it is, can't identify themselves. But if you could briefly explain HSP, what is it? Explain.
Ida: For me, it has always meant an extra sensitivity to everything. Not just psychologically, like being sensitive to what others think and those things, but also physically. I've always felt I get very tired from impressions. Like doing this podcast takes a lot of energy. I know I'll crash afterward, even if I don't feel it now. It's how my body reacts.
Ida: It's about taking in impressions much more than a non-highly sensitive person. Sounds, light, materials on the body, the mood in the room. I absorb all that at a higher level than many others, and it can be very exhausting for the brain and body.
Lovisa: It's interesting, almost like the senses are more open.
Ida: Yes, you could say that, and it can be very positive or very tough. It can be a strength and a weakness. Especially if you don't understand that you are that way.
Ida: Before I understood I was HSP, I compared myself a lot to others. Why can they handle so much, go to so many events, be so social, and still come home and clean and fix things? I would just crash on the sofa.
Lovisa: I can relate to that. What you see on social media. To be able to do so much, accomplish so much. That ambition that exists today might not be very healthy, and it affects you a lot if you take in a lot.
Lovisa: When did you understand what it was?
Ida: Hard to remember exactly. I think during my teenage years.
Ida: I don't think I fully understood it until after my mom passed away. I don't remember talking to her about it, so maybe around 19, the penny dropped. By chance, I read about it online, and I thought, my God, I've never related so much. It feels like that type of person, not a diagnosis, is becoming more common to talk about who you are and what you feel. It wasn't a term 15 or 20 years ago. But it's about one in four or five people, and it applies to animals too. My dog is very much like that.
Lovisa: How cute! But how was it to go through Bachelor with that aspect?
Ida: It was not very HSP-friendly. No, it was very exhausting. We had many days just in our house, always cameras around, not always, but often. But there was also a lot of waiting, which can be exhausting. But what helped was that things didn't always happen.
Lovisa: I get it. There was time to rest.
Ida: Yes, exactly. But there was always mental stress knowing that at any moment, I might have to sync up and talk to the camera or go on a date. Something could always happen, and I was exhausted when I got home.
Lovisa: And it really had to be.
Ida: Yes, it was almost two months. Sardinia. How long, like an endless summer holiday when you were a kid.
Lovisa: But it was nice to come home and land.
Ida: Yes, it was nice and also weird that you always get, like, an adrenaline hangover from going through so much and your life changing, a guy coming into your life that you have to make room for.
Lovisa: Yes, but you mentioned briefly that your mom passed away when you were 19, which you also talk about in capital letters when it comes up for you.
Lovisa: So nice, and it feels like it's so important. The same with HSP and miscarriage, but also talking about grief. It feels like it's becoming more common, but it's important for people to be able to relate. How has that journey been for you, beyond social media? To experience such a thing at such a young age?
Ida: Initially, it was very dramatic because I grew up alone with my mom. I have a relationship with my dad, but I never lived with him. We had less contact. So it was just me and my mom, without siblings. The first time she got sick, I was 14, and she had breast cancer and went through chemotherapy for about a year before she started recovering.
Ida: Then she was declared cancer-free five years later because of the risk of it spreading. And that's what happened. Right after graduation, when I was 18, we found out the cancer was back, and that was the biggest blow. I quickly realized this time it might not go well.
Ida: She passed away less than a year later. That time was tough, almost like a dark period that I also have trouble piecing together. I was trying to earn money until Mom got so bad she went to the hospital and then to hospice, a place for those who are about to die. We were there for 2 - 3 months. They estimated she had two weeks, but it was longer. And after that, I was left alone. Everything I grew up with was my mom.
Lovisa: I also grew up with just my mom. I can really relate. It must have been so tough at that age, so sensitive.
Ida: Really. It felt like life was supposed to start, and it felt like mine ended. It was terrible, and I'd say the first year after was just trauma and denial. I didn't want to understand what had happened, which often happens after something traumatic and when you're grieving. The first stage is often shock, and my way of dealing with it was destructive. I drank a lot of alcohol. I went out and partied the first weekend because I wanted to escape the reality I was in. It wasn't until 2 - 3 years later that I started processing and landing in the fact that, going from having a lot of suicidal thoughts and feeling extremely bad, thinking let's see if I live until tomorrow, to having insights that there's still life to live, and I want to live it. But it took a couple of years.
Ida: How I even survived that first period, I don't know. But then I started going to therapy, and it took a while to find the right one, but I found a great psychologist who took me in and accepted my grief. For the first time, I started opening doors, and
Lovisa: Nice.
Ida: it was with the help of that, crying, grieving, talking, opening that room that I moved forward step by step. But grief takes time. And it's important to remember, for yourself and others going through grief. A year in grief is nothing. It's a journey.
Lovisa: I read somewhere, it was so nice. I've never experienced that type of grief. But I read that grief was like two circles. It's not that the grief gets smaller, but life around it grows bigger. The grief always stays the same size, but life around it gets bigger.
Ida: Exactly, you step out of the grief bubble and compare grief to waves. At first, the waves come often and are extremely strong, like they would drown you. But over time, the waves come less often. They're still strong and heavy, but they don't drown you. They're there, you cry and are sad, but then you know you'll come up dry on land, fine. Daring to process.
Lovisa: I can imagine many shut that room down and don't dare to go in there and talk and process. And daring to grieve.
Ida: Really.
Lovisa: But I think it's nice to do that before becoming a parent.
Ida: God, yes. And there are parts I still haven't fully processed and might never. So it will be with me my whole life. But as you said, daring to open that room even though it's painful. That's the only way forward.
Lovisa: Yes, so nice. If someone goes through the same thing, whether they're alone or not. When you opened up about your mom on social media, did you get a lot? I can imagine you got many who went through the same. Was there a healing aspect in sharing?
Ida: Yes, definitely. Realizing you're not alone is very strengthening. It's terrible that so many go through pain, but it's also very human.
Lovisa: Yes
Ida: And all people will need to go through it at some point.
Lovisa: It's tough, and it doesn't have to be. But death is the common destination for all, and somehow accepting it makes life. If you live more and appreciate things more, instead of just living on gratitude.
Ida: Actually. If I hadn't gone through that grief, I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't even be the same person, mentally and physically, where I stand. So it gives a lot and gives perspective. You get to know people and life in a different way. So there's some gratitude in going through grief, even though I wouldn't wish it for myself or anyone. There are good things it did for me.
Lovisa: Nice, it was. Many relationships grew during that period. How was that? Were there many around you?
Ida: Initially, it felt very lonely. Also, being so young, my friends were also very young. It's hard for 19-year-olds to know how to handle and deal with it. And not growing up with a big family, I unfortunately didn't have many with me, so it was extremely lonely for me. But as I got older, more contacts were made, and that part of me was presented very early. Then people met me differently.
Lovisa: "So nice. And then with Sebastian too, that we actually saw him on Bachelor, where it came up naturally. That was so nice.
Ida: Yes, now in life, it has given me stronger and stronger relationships and
Lovisa: We talked about grief and such. But how do you take care of that? Even if you have a tougher period or a time with a lot of anxiety, grief, whatever? Do you have any special things you usually do?
Ida: Well, in terms of me being HSP and all that, it's a lot about recovery and allowing rest in such periods, not being too hard on yourself, not pushing through. That's also a defense mechanism many jump on, including me sometimes, because then you can escape those difficult feelings even more. But it never works longer term; you crash.
Ida: So it's about reminding yourself that it's one of those periods again. It won't help to try to push it away and keep going. The faster you can land in the feelings and accept and be present in them, the quicker they pass
Lovisa: daring to be in it and see what it is. It feels like a red thread to be kind to yourself. Ida: "Absolutely, and that can mean different things for everyone. But to see your needs and affirm them.
Lovisa: Do you have a daily routine? Do you meditate or have any aspect of meditation? Not just sitting down and meditating, but training or anything like that. Do you have something you do?
Ida: I wish I did, and I know it would be so good for me, meditation and such. I can't say I have something every day, and I'm a person who easily gets tired of things, both when it comes to training, meditating, yoga, food, or whatever it's about. So it often changes what it is.
Ida: But one thing I remind myself often is deep breathing. Maybe for the past year, when I notice it's too much, just landing in it. Almost forcing myself when I notice I'm very up in my head and completely absent and very much do, do, do... Just giving myself a slap. And how do we stop? So it's a little routine in the back of my head, at least.
Lovisa: But many times, you do such a thing without thinking, when you have your habitual patterns. It can be resting a bit every day as a well-being thing to keep up with everyday life.
Ida: Yes, exactly, but I have little things like never sleeping with my phone in the bedroom. It's in the kitchen, naturally. So I have a few things like that.
Lovisa: Yes, that's it. It's the little tricks that seem so difficult but do so much for your well-being. Ida: Actually.
Lovisa: Regardless if you turn off or not, how have you experienced it? Because when you work with social media, you're often very connected. Or extremely, because you have to for your job. I recognize it with my job too. Do you have a good way to disconnect?
Ida: That's so hard. That's why I'm unsure how long I'll be able to work with what I do, at least full-time, because it's so demanding. But I've gotten better at it, and it's just about being a bit tough on yourself and being able to separate work and private life. And maybe having certain routines. Like now, on weekends, for example, I don't open my emails... I try. But before, I checked my emails every day, all the time. But deciding, no, it can wait until Monday.
Lovisa: Nobody's going to die.
Ida: And if they do, they can call. But also, in the evenings, trying not to go too much on Instagram and such. It's super hard, and I don't always follow it. But I notice that the more I remind myself, the better I get at it and the better I feel.
Lovisa: When you get discipline, it can be so simple to turn off notifications, because then you forget for a little while that it exists.
Ida: Yes, or put the phone in another room.
Lovisa: Yes, exactly. I've noticed that changing the position of the apps, you catch yourself easier, like, oh, I'm going here again. When you think it's wrong just because you do it out of habit.
Ida: It's muscle memory. What's scary about Instagram, for example.
Lovisa: Yes, it can be such a simple thing, but I'm going to do it, or everything's fine.
Ida: I'll gladly take more tips; I find it very hard.
Lovisa: To switch to something else about taking care of yourself, which might be a bit superficial, I feel. I run a skincare and haircare brand, and we usually have a segment in the podcast where we talk about that. Do you have any kind of routine for your body? Have you gotten more routine now that you're pregnant, for example?
Ida: A little bit... I've never been a person with ten steps in my skincare routine or washing my hair every day with lots of lovely products. Not me, I'm quite lazy. But at the same time, I'd never get up in the morning or go to bed without washing and moisturizing my face, so that's a routine for hydration. I really enjoy washing my face in the evening and morning, just moisturizing with something hydrating and nice-smelling. And the same with my hair, where I'm lazier. I wash my hair every fourth or fifth day.
Lovisa: You have such nice hair, it's beautiful, and you don't need to wash it every day. Ida: No, no, because you hear that. Since becoming pregnant, I've been more into my body, where I've also been a bit lazy and dry. But now, moisturizing with lovely oils has become a routine, pregnancy oil on the belly for stretch marks. It's become something I really enjoy, moisturizing, feeling the skin soft and calm.
Lovisa: Yes, it's also nice. I discovered that when I was pregnant, doing it out of gratitude. How often you stand in front of the mirror and don't like what you see, but instead be grateful, like, here are my legs, a belly growing with a baby. Then it's easier to be grateful for doing it.
Ida: Yes, I agree. Before being pregnant, I didn't stand and look at myself in the mirror and moisturize. But now I stand and look at my belly, proudly seeing how it grows. I actually appreciate it.
Lovisa: It's so nice, actually. But I think about the future, now you'll have a baby, you bought an apartment, I know. Do you have any future dreams and goals? If you see your life in a few years, do you have any visions?
Ida: Yes, because now it will be a lot of focus on family and family life. I look forward to seeing our child grow up and hopefully have more siblings for this child. We're moving to a bigger apartment soon, but then in a few years, I hope we can move to a house. But then, maybe when more children come, it's a lot of focus on that and experiencing life through a child's eyes. I imagine you become a child again when you do childish things.
Lovisa: Yes, it's very nice. It's nice to experience, but as you say, things from the child's perspective, and children in town talk and everything the child sees that you've never noticed, it's so nice to come down to that level, so carefree and full of love.
Ida: And so present. Yes, because they're not absent.
Lovisa: They are here and now. And you're forced to be too.
Ida: Yes, exactly, and I look forward to that. And then, career-wise, as I mentioned, I've been unsure if I want to stay in this industry or go part-time. It will also be a discovery. What do I want to do with this? And maybe my thinking changes when I become a parent, getting new perspectives.
Lovisa: Yes, definitely. And some new creativity is born, doing things for someone else, not just yourself. It's very liberating, at least for me.
Lovisa: But if you could just dream or think, what do you think you would have worked with if you went part-time? What would you have liked to work with? Ida: I wish someone would answer that for me, but that's the question. Something still creative, but also social, where I meet other people. It's lonely that I'm open to much. But something like what you do, for example. It would be fun to run a different type of company, not based on social media, where you can use social media, but where I can have colleagues and other people to brainstorm with and be creative with. That would be exciting, I think, and would suit me very well.
Lovisa: It might be something that comes with time, where you get an idea or land on something.
Ida: Did you come up with this after having a child?
Lovisa: No, she's three years old, so I started it after that. But we were about to shut down. The first two years were tough, and it went very badly. And then, heavily pregnant in the middle of everything going badly, we were like, now we'll take a break from everything else, and after she gets a bit older, we'll see. But then, when I was like you are now, late in pregnancy, e-commerce exploded. So I sat pregnant at 39 weeks, answering customer service, like, oh my God, now it's happening. So it happened a bit simultaneously as my daughter was born.
Lovisa: Yes, it was a lot at once. It was actually tough during her first half-year because I worked while she was small, and I didn't want to miss anything, neither the little baby nor finally taking off. So it was a tough period. But I learned a lot and want to do differently with the next child. But I have to say, when she came, a lot of creativity was born, especially the fact that you care a bit less about yourself. That was what did it. I let go. Yes, a bit, I think it was that, almost giving up. But whatever. Let's try this. If it works, great; if not, no big deal. And it worked. Just that you start caring a bit less about yourself when you have a child, less, that you can't.
Ida: I'm really looking forward to that. Yes, it sounds a bit weird, not being self-centered.
Lovisa: Yes, and that shift happens automatically because it has to, and it's very nice to be here, no, I'm not the most important. It's a child, and it's so natural and so. So out of that, I think a lot comes from caring a bit less about what others think. You have less to lose, but with that, maybe it comes naturally.
Ida: Yes, let's hope for that.
Lovisa: Yes, but you're expecting a little boy, right?
Ida: Yes, so cozy.
Lovisa: It's said there's a special bond between mothers and sons. Ida: Yes, a bit like that, mama's boys, and the same with daddy's girls, that it's often like that.
Lovisa: So exciting. Yes, but we're approaching the end, and I always ask three questions to the guests, and the first is if you could choose one routine, any routine, that all people in the world had to do every day for well-being, what would it be?
Ida: Then it's deep breathing, I'll take that, so at some point during the day, at least once, either morning or evening or sometime during the day when there's a lot on your mind, just sit for a moment, or you can do it anywhere, however, and try to take three deep breaths and then a couple of minutes of just breathing in for four seconds, holding your breath for four seconds, and then breathing out for four seconds, and doing this until you feel the stress release. When I do it, it's like night and day. I don't always take the time to do it, though.
Lovisa: But it's really powerful.
Ida: It really is, so try it.
Lovisa: But it's a type of meditation and no matter where you are, it always helps, and it's almost like when you start taking deep breaths, you can't stop because it really helps.
Ida: Yes, a lot is released in the body, helping to make decisions or manage stress. It helps you think clearer.
Lovisa: Yes, really, and it cools down the nervous system when you breathe. It's really something, we should do more of it, myself included. I think everyone should just adopt it.
Lovisa: The next question, then, what do you think today's generation needs to give to the next generation to make them as good people as possible? What should we give our children?
Ida: I think talk more about mental health/illness early. Implement it when kids are very small, as parents themselves. Talking early about feelings and what they are, and in schools. Getting that in, I forgot if we don't have it now, and just in life in general. Daring to talk more about it. Because so many are doing poorly, and more and more suicides, it's so tragic, and there's so much we could do to prevent people from feeling bad. But to help each other know when you feel bad, what do you do then?
Lovisa: So true, and catching young people because there's a high suicide rate among young people. It opens up for children that already now I've noticed with a 3-year-old but already now, instead of shutting down the feelings when she's sad or angry or can't express herself, you can still see and pave the way, say. And how does it feel when you're sad and alone, and why are you sad? And now let's find a way to channel this message, and you're angry, hit the pillow, or I'm here, really however you want.
Ida: Because often with children, when they're about to cry, it's like, come on, let's play instead. And what you're doing then is saying it's not okay that you're sad, you should be having fun.
Lovisa: Exactly, and that's precisely it. Cry, scream, and laugh. That's the only way children often know how to express themselves, and it feels like there's the same link with shutting it down so early, like it's not okay to cry in any forum, which shuts down so much that here, when you get older, you're so used to shutting down
Ida: Yes, it's learned behavior.
Lovisa: Yes, that it doesn't have room and isn't released, and there's so much that gets stuck in the body.
Ida: Yes, it can be tensions in the body or neck problems and all sorts of things because there are so many emotions stagnating.
Lovisa: Yes, really, and it's often in women's hips and shoulders, they feel
Ida: Yes, and it comes in the chest and such.
Lovisa: Yes, exactly, it's physical. Great tip. Ok, but the last question, who would you like to see as a guest in this podcast?
Ida: I might say a close friend of mine who also runs a podcast, Elin Riviere, who runs the "So Can It Go Podcast," where she talks a lot about relationships and comes from a very destructive relationship that lasted eight years and managed to get out. And today, she lectures about it and podcasts and also works as a matchmaker, so she has a lot of focus on love and relationships and healthy relationships with yourself and others.
Lovisa: Great, I'll take a look at her. But if someone wants to find you or write to you or wonders about something, where can they find you?
Ida: Yes, Instagram is where I hang out the most. IdaNordfors is my name there, and then I have a YouTube channel where I'm also Ida Nordfors, and there you can read more.
Lovisa: Thank you so much for coming!
Ida: Thank you, so lovely!